Editor: Savant Lamont (Tallahassee, FL)

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Sam Strahan hails from the Windy City (Chicago, IL), where she currently resides with her children. She is the author of 2 novels, a book review blogger, business owner and the host of BigGirl Talk, a podcast designed for plus-sized women of color. Please support her —> https://linktr.ee/theedamnitsam

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Unbreakable.

Author: Sam Strahan (Chicago, IL)

I’m fat.

- don’t look at me like that -

I’m not speaking negatively about myself…I’m merely stating facts. 

I am cute, intelligent, witty, successful, attractive…and I am also fat.

This is not an epiphany; I didn’t gain weight with any of my pregnancies, because of any medications, or any other reason outside of one’s own power. I have been overweight most of my life. 

Some time ago, I read a book that discussed methods for becoming more self-disciplined and overcome problems in life. In a practical manner, one of the first things that must be done in order to overcome problems in life is to first admit that there is a problem. The acknowledgment thus takes the power away from the problem and inputs it into the solution. In all honesty, I am one of many people who have spent most of their life acting as if ignoring problems will eventually make them go away. 

Let me tell you…they do not.  

Growing up, I tried my best to remain as invisible as possible. I called myself atmosphere because, even in my larger size, I was stealth and quiet; virtually unnoticed by most. I lived my life that way through high school and some time after, until my life changed forever; until I had my oldest daughter, Stacey. She and I basically grew up together, primarily because I was just 19 years young when I gave life to her. When I first laid eyes on her, it is as if the world shifted before my eyes. Suddenly, I realized that I didn’t have to worry about being fat anymore, because I wanted to raise her to be fearless and comfortable in her own skin; everything that I was not at this time (and boy, did I do a bang up job).

Stacey was the definition of a social butterfly as little girl; so full of life and curious to explore the unknown. In the blink of an eye, she had more friends and was more popular throughout her elementary and high school years than I could ever imagine having at her age. She was smart, sassy, and beautiful…her smile literally gave me butterflies. Don’t get it twisted though, our relationship wasn’t perfect. She was with me through an abusive marriage, four more pregnancies, divorce, eviction, a suicide attempt, repossession and so many other trials and tribulations. Things definitely got worse before they got better, but I knew that I couldn’t give up. We wouldn’t give up, especially because of our unbreakable strength and will to keep moving forward. We looked around and realized that there had to be more to life than this. So, we continued…

But then…

Stacey was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 13, which subsequently gave me high blood pressure in the process. She wanted to ignore her disease and act like it wasn’t there, but she couldn’t hide from it forever. Eventually, the eclipse overtook her…and she passed away on February 25, 2019 at the age of 19 from complications of Type 1 Diabetes.

…silence.

So here I stand…a grieving mom, divorced, raising her children as a single mother, starting businesses, writing books, recording podcasts and being fabulous. All while still being fat. 

You see, I now realize that it’s not a problem and I’ve taken away its power in my life. I. Am. Fabulous.

I stand in confidence, knowing that who I am and what I do to impact the world is far more important than my weight. The loss of my daughter is something that I will never get over, but the fact that I am still standing; still thriving after losing the first love of my life, I know that there is no problem that I cannot solve. I am unbreakable; fearless and fabulous.  

So yes, I am fat…but I am also an author, a blogger, a podcaster, a small business owner, and a beautiful Black woman! The good outweighs the bad by leaps and bounds. I am eternally grateful for the life that I’ve lived. These days might make me cry, but because of those tears, my smile is bright. Because I survived dark times, I have learned to appreciate the sunshine so much more. 

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Editor’s Comments:

It took me a second to comment on Sam’s incredibly powerful story about self-love and resilience, primarily because it brought me to tears as soon as she revealed the mountains of tribulations that she has endured in this life. Talk about POWER. Here we have an amazing Black woman who has lived through some of the most challenging trials known to human race and here she stands, victorious and thriving! Sam’s story is filled with such eloquence and overt honesty that it is very difficult not to get drawn in, which I believe to be the most beautiful part. I believe that she is pushing an extremely important message: be comfortable in your own skin and embrace every part about yourself! Do not allow society to dictate your imagery of self, because they will if you give them the power. Take your power back and use it to prosper! Lean into what society deems your ‘shortcomings’ and allow them to become your most prolific weapons on your journey to personal prosperity. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be loved, but it all starts with taking control of your own happiness and loving yourself so incredibly much that people can’t help but say, “damn, you go Sam!”

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thank you for spending a few moments with us! if you would like to discuss Sam’s story with her, shoot her a message on instagram! —> @theedamnitsam

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For more stories, please follow me on instagram! If you (or anyone you know) is interested in sharing your story with the world, please…shoot me a message using the contact page (or instagram —> @savantlamont) and tell me all about it! Who knows, living your truth through #SavantSpotlight can change your life, and many others!

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