Throughout my life, I (like most of you) have been given many names. Some have been embarrassing  nicknames given by family members and friends, while others are accepted and embodied for years to come. Admittedly, I have endured my fair share of bad names as well, primarily the historically egregious names that people have called black people for centuries. Although names such as ‘Real Ant Will’ and ‘Heavy D’ are among the most notable for me, none have had a more prolific impact than ’Savant,’ and I should probably explain why. 

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On a breezy winter night in a small city just south of Atlanta, Georgia, I was enjoying Thanksgiving dinner with mi familia. I remember sitting with my Uncle, post-itis (in the Black community, the ‘itis’ signifies that period of time after a good meal when everyone inevitably claims their spot on the couch and falls asleep with a belly full of them good eats), over a few glasses of our drink of choice (in this case, Hennessy Pure White). Although the food is breathtaking (my Auntie hails from n’awlins), I look forward to the times had after we have eaten because that’s when things get real. Everyone comes to life as the drinks begin to flow into the body just as heavily as the tears of laugher create rivers down our faces; an unparalleled time to be alive…to feel alive. Per tradition, my Uncle and I are known to have the types of honest conversation that I hope to have with you all some day; the type of conversations that have no planned direction or ulterior motives, other than unequivocal truth and honesty. The conversation that ensued was one I was not prepared for, as I could tell from the look in my Uncle’s eyes that something was troubling him. I would soon learn that it was not troubling him in a negative manner, but rather a positive affirmation that he never had the chance to express. I will preface his comments by saying that I am terrible at receiving compliments or any type of praise, which is why I was paralyzed by his words (and i’m sure the Henny didn’t help). 

He looked at me with Hennessy-fueled bravado, took a deep breath as he leaned forward in his seat, and says to me, “nephew, I don’t think you understand how proud I am of you.” I freeze. The world is now still; I can remember blood rushing through my veins and my heart surging through my chest like the Grinch when he rediscovered love. He continues, “everybody up north said you wasn’t gonna amount to a damn thing, and look at you now. I knew you would be this, but damn, I didn’t know it would happen so quickly; you’re tracking, young man. Keep going. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become and I’m glad that my boys have a damn Black savant to look up to.” 

Writing those words on this page takes me back to that very moment, and yes, ya boy’s eyes are welling just as much now as they did then; a flood with no preventive dams to control the outbreak. I didn’t wipe the tears then and I certainly won’t wipe them now. My point is: he believed in me when I had no idea that he was paying attention or rooting for me. I have always been too shaken and disturbed to believe in myself, but he believes in me and I think we all need those people in our lives. He called me ‘savant’ just once that night, and it was in that moment that I started to understand why. Let me be clear: I am not an all-knowing being and I am no better than anyone reading this. In fact, I didn’t believe that the terminology was fitting for someone like me with such a controversial past of sins and transgressions. He later explained that he simply sees me as a learned individual; a man willing to accept his gifts and his flaws in an effort to be a better person. Since that night I have not deviated from the savant mentality, continuing to better myself every day and learn everything I can about this life that we live; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Again, I do not think I am superior to anyone, nor have I lived a life that would warrant such praise. I am simply a human who is continually challenging self to be better for personal prosperity and advancement of those around me. I know I fall short sometimes and I unintentionally hurt people in the process, but I am trying my best to minimize the damage of my human shortcomings. I promise, I am doing my best.

We are all savants in our own way, living and learning as we go. I hope that one day you share a moment with someone who helps you realize how prolific you are by being your authentic self. Believe me, being you is more than enough. You are enough. Be the savant at being you because even when you don’t notice, there are people rooting for you.

my question for you: when is the last time you shared your true feelings about the ones you love most?

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thank you for spending a few moments with me. i do value your time and thoughts, so please do not hesitate to send me a message (using the contact page or via social media) and let me know what you think. i would love to hear from you!

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savant shelf selection: black privilege - charlamagne tha god

savant song selection: u see us // nipsey hussle