8 - 24 - 2
As the gloomy skies loom above Tallahassee, Florida today, I am reminded of the weather I experienced just a year prior; a deep reminder that death…the natural conclusion to life…is inescapable. We are born into this world, and we spend our days fighting, clawing, and scratching at this life…trying our best to ‘get ahead’ and ‘be a good person.’ Although we don’t want to acknowledge it, I think that all of us have this thought in the back of our minds that death could strike at a moment’s notice…and it is never something that you are truly prepared for. In subsequent fashion, 365 days prior (January 26, 2020) marks the day that Kobe Bryant, Gianna Bryant, John Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, Alyssa Altobelli, Sarah Chester, Payton Chester, Christina Mauser, and the pilot, Ara Zobayan, ascended to the heavens after a tragic helicopter crash in Calabasas, CA claimed their lives in the wee small hours on that foggy Sunday morning. This day will forever haunt my soul and I cry inside every time I think about it, primarily because Kobe was someone that I truly looked up to…even though I never personally knew him. It’s an eerie feeling, right? Although it was not a personal connection, it certainly felt…uhh…personal; deep.
I remember the day, vividly…almost to a fault. I remember feeling lost, disparate, and truly broken. I was sitting on my couch at my current apartment, watching TV and playing with my roommate’s dog. We decided to take a walk and go play outside, and I was as happy as a clam because I actually had a date that night with a woman that I had been interested in for months. I was snapchatting her while walking the dog, and the excitement for the night’s date continued to rise. I won’t lie, I skipped to my lou while I launched the slimy tennis ball across the dog park and watched Chief sprint away with his tongue out. Like Chief, I was smiling from ear to ear because I knew that the day would be one that I remember for years to come. Little did I know, it would certainly be memorable…but not for the reasons that I was expecting.
As Chief and I returned to our humble abode, out of breath and full of life…the wind was instantly taken from the sails when I looked at my phone. I had a message from my roommate Nik, which included a link to a tweet. If you know Nik, it is quite common to receive random tweets from him because he might be the goofiest person I know…so I figured it was just another video of someone doing something ignorant or a meme that would bring me to tears of laughter. I opened the tweet…and immediately dropped my phone. Instead of tears of joy, my body seized up as tears of mourning crashed to the carpet. He had sent me an article from TMZ, reporting that Kobe and Gigi Bryant were among nine who tragically lost their lives in a helicopter crash amongst the foggy hills of Calabasas, California. My heart was no longer beating. My lungs contained no air. My soul paused in fear. My eyes became oceans of sadness. I thought to myself…this can’t be real, right? Legends never die, especially the Black Mamba…
This. Can’t. Be. Real.
It was, in fact…real. Kob was gone. The foggy conditions that morning proved to be too much for the pilot and all lives aboard were lost that day. I called Matthew and told him the news, and he knew I was serious was because of the geyser of tears that I could not hide. He was sitting with his brother Joshua at the time, and they were in just as much shock as I was. Complete. Shock. I remember just crying uncontrollably as I watched the words “Remembering Kobe Bryant” loop on SportsCenter that Sunday afternoon. I thought to myself about those last moments and what must’ve been going through their minds at the time when they realized…this is it. This broke my heart, even more, to think about the ways in which the families had to find out the news the same way that we did. That hurts. Can you imagine!? We lost our beloved icon and team leader, but Vanessa lost her soul mate, and her daughter; Natalia, Bianka, and baby Capri had lost their father and their sister in one tragic moment. Although I was hurt to be a fan who lost an icon, I felt for the families of the lives lost that Sunday morning because they are the primary ones who had the deepest connections to the heartbeats that no longer existed in physical form. I really don’t know what I would do if I was in their shoes, and I prayed every day that Kobe and Gigi would be with them in spirit to ease some of the pain. My heart broke for them that day, and if I am being quite honest…I still haven’t quite put the pieces back together. I don’t know if I ever will. If I feel it this deep, they must be truly devastated…still.
Although it was a tragedy that took Kobe and Gigi from us, I can say there is a lot to be learned from this experience. I mean, some of us have been learning from Kobe Bryant since we could walk…which makes it all the more heartbreaking to know that his walk…in this life…has concluded. In true Mamba fashion though, Kob has left a legacy on this planet that can never be erased. For us fans, we will forever embody the Mamba Mentality in everything we do because he was truly a part of all of us. Admittedly, us fellas all aspire to be cheeky ‘girl dads’ like Kobe was, especially if it will bring us even a fraction of the amount of joy that it clearly brought him to be their father. We will continue to fight and put in the long hours that it takes to be the greatest because that is what two-four stood for.
If I could provide some advice or learned lessons on this topic, I believe it would fall into these three categories:
“Have a good time. Life is too short to get bogged down and be discouraged. You have to keep moving. You have to keep going. Put one foot in front of the other, smile, and just keep on rolling.” - Kobe Bryant
1) Live like hell and do what you love with the people you love. Do not allow the fear of the unknown to hold you back from doing what it is that you want to do in this life because it is far shorter than most of us really want to recognize. Most of us think that we will live well into our 70s or 80s, but the truth of the matter is…it could be over tomorrow. I believe it was the great Steve Jobs who talked of the importance of us winning each day and asking ourselves: if today was our last day on Earth, would we still go about our day and do what we are going to do today? Paraphrasing of course, but the point is: if we are not living our truth and doing what we love every day, we might be wasting precious time that we cannot get back. It would be more effective if we spend time with the people we love and commit to doing the work that we love to do because anything less than that is simply unacceptable. A day spent doing what we love is never wasted, but a day spent working to accomplish someone else’s dream is pointless. Kobe spent 41 years with us, but he lived them all and we were fortunate enough to watch it all play out on the screen. In true Mamba fashion, our task is to do our thing in the company of those we love because we never really know when the last time will be the last time.
“The biggest mistake we make in life is thinking we have time.” - Kobe Bryant
2) The clock is ticking. That is no secret. Think about the amount of time that we spend endlessly scrolling through social media or worrying about things outside of our control, instead of spending that time in a more amicable manner…such as learning a new skill or mastering the ones we already have. It is more important than ever to hone in on our crafts and push ourselves in an effort to achieve our greatest potential. Of course, the joy is in the journey…but we must simply start before we can get anywhere. To be quite honest, I have fallen victim to being short-sighted or making mistakes based on temporary feelings, but that is part of life. The true power lies in our ability to learn from those mistakes, get back up, and keep trying. Kobe Bryant would probably tell you himself that he was not a perfect man, but his mentality called for the Kaizen principle of continuous improvement of self…and I believe that the Mamba Mentality calls for that as well. Never give up. Never stop trying. Continue to apply pressure and improve. How? Well, we have to befriend the unknown and face our fears head-on. We have to start that company, even if we are not sure how it will work out. We have to book that trip, even if we don’t know what will come of it. We have to take that chance; we have to try. Now. Trial and failure is better than no trial at all, and I bet Kob would back me up on that.
“It’s the one thing you can control. You are responsible for how people remember you—or don’t. So don’t take it lightly.” - Kobe Bryant
3) Celebrate your loved ones while they are still here…every day. By that, I do not mean that we should spend our days showering our loved ones with gifts or thinking that we cannot spend any time to ourselves. I’m simply saying that the clock stops for none of us, and we must realize that as we continue to age…so does everyone else. It is also important to be a living vessel of love and appreciation for people, in general. We could be the catalyst for a shockwave of joy if we just allow ourselves to exist in true form and walk with a smile; be love. Compliment people when you see them steppin’ or think they have some fly kicks on. People love that. To be real with you, it’s all about sharing love with those around us and inspiring other heartbeats until our time of departure comes. That…is how legacies are created. Let’s be real: people live and people die. That’s just the way it goes. I cannot sugarcoat it for you. For that reason, I believe it is of utmost importance that we continually invest in our people and show them the love that we feel. Laugh hysterically. Kiss with passion. Cry unapologetically. All that mushy stuff. There is no point in hiding that feeling, especially if we would carry that burden should that person reach the same untimely passing as the nine people aboard that helicopter just a year ago. You have all heard me harp on this concept of love in just about every article, so I will digress. All I’m saying is if we love our people…we must show them. Now. Time is not on our side, and we never know when they will be called home.
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To Mr. 8.24:
Kob…thank you for being you. Thank you for showing the world what it truly means to embody the Mamba Mentality and attack each day with the tenacity of a thousand lions. Thank you for showing us what it truly looks like to work hard and fall in love with the process of greatness. Thank you for exemplifying the importance of being a ‘girl dad’ and being a prolific leader of change and progression as a (Black) man, a father, and an athlete. You are a lot of the reason that I am the man I am today, especially given the library of knowledge that you have provided me over the years by simply watching you do you. It breaks my heart that I will not get to break bread with you one day (or even shake your hand, for that matter), but I understand that this is how things go sometimes. Simply, thank you. I love you. I miss you. Do me a favor and say hey to my guy David while you’re up there. I’m sure you two have become the best of friends.
I love you, Kobe 💜
I love you, Gigi 💛
Siempre,
Savant (out)🌹
Authors Note:
In congruence with the details of the story, I ended up going on the date that night…and as you can imagine, it did not go well. Not to say she had anything to do with it (because she was, well…herself), I was just a wreck. I wasn’t myself, you know? I don’t remember much from the date, really. I just remember an awkward kiss at the end of the night, followed by me sprinting off into the night to hurry to grieve with Matthew. We sat at his apartment for hours that night, letting the tears flow and simply being there for each other. That is what I needed. I wanted to be around people I loved. I also canceled my classes and mentoring sessions that week, and I am thankful that I work for people who encouraged me to take time to mourn and make sense of what was going on. To my people, especially Leah Phillips, Aaron Tillman and Lauren Birch, thank you for encouraging me to take that time. I had no idea I would need it so much, but the loss of Kobe Bryant proved to be too much for one man to shoulder in stride. I needed a second to process this, as I knew it would be with me forever. It still is.
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thank you for spending a few moments with me. i do value your time and thoughts, so please do not hesitate to send me a message @savantlamont and let me know what you think. i would love to hear from you!