the Dory principle; just keep swimming.
In the midst of the vast ocean of possibilities that we call life, we will all need support at some point in time. In tune with the analogy, some of us are great swimmers and others are not as adept…but we all need help navigating the waves from time to time. That is, for many of us, where lifeguards and a carefully-curated support team come in handy. As John Maxwell stated, “Nothing of significance was ever achieved by an individual acting alone. Look below the surface and you will find that all seemingly solo acts are really team efforts.” In a world full of ‘self-made’ success and people asserting that they ‘did it all on their own,’ we must not forget that even though we cannot always see the ways in which people are helping us along the way…they are. In fact, life experiences will teach us the eerie dichotomy of ‘help’ amongst humans. Sometimes we are the swimmer, and sometimes we are the lifeguard…but it would be unwise to do either alone because the risks associated with such a daunting task could be the difference between life and death (symbolically, and in some ways…literally). For this analogous depiction, let’s focus on being the swimmer.
Some of us are expert swimmers in the ocean of life and we are able to adapt to our conditions quite quickly through the careful utilization of our skill in the given area. For those ‘experts,’ we are comfortable swimming at our own pace, conquering various tasks of challenge from the ocean, and ultimately trusting our abilities in the midst of the unknown because we feel as if we have been preparing ourselves for these moments for years on end. Remember, this ocean can be anything; a new job, moving to a new city, starting a new relationship, adopting a new gym routine, you name it. Any aspect of life can feel like an ocean, especially when we take note of the unlimited possibilities that can develop as a result of the current exploration. That is not to say that the unknown is always comfortable, but to say that for those of us who [want to] swim this way…we must embrace the unknown; the uncomfortability. We work tirelessly to develop the skills necessary to survive and might I say thrive in these areas, and when the time comes to swim…we invite the challenge.
But…
What happens when the unknown becomes too much? What happens when we get out there and a storm occurs? What happens when all of our ‘plans’ go awry and the power of the ocean itself overtakes our skill set and leaves us with minimal options to work with. Survival becomes paramount, while also becoming a subtle ‘hope’ in the back of our mind because we realize that we might just be in over our head. In the ocean, this is bound to happen. As I am writing this, I am thinking about an episode of a show, Hawaii Five-O (Mo’o ‘olelo Pu; S5 E23), where Kono decides to embark on a solo catamaran trip around the Hawaiian islands to honor her mother. She encounters a massive storm and subsequent wild weather early in her trip and must ultimately fight for her own survival by reflecting on lessons that she had been taught in her life. Undoubtedly, we all encounter this storm at some point in time and that is where we learn just how important it is to be prepared for the unknown…while also being reminded that all of us will need help at some point in time.
You see, humans are love and we are supposed to support each other. We are all embarking on our own symbolic ocean of life and admittedly, that can be scary. Fortunately, we don’t have to handle the journey solo. There are numerous people (lifeguards) who want to ‘help' us along the way, we first must have the courage to ask for it and/or expose our struggles to those around us. Yes, that means being vulnerable and letting people know that we are not okay; that we don’t have it all together; that we don’t have everything other control; that we need their help. We all have various waves to overcome, so remember that there are times in which people may want to help but may not know the specifics of what is going on and inadvertently may not know how to help. We must help people help us. For those who have shown that they care, we have to tell them what we need. We have to ask for the assistance we desire. It is unreasonable to expect everyone to guess/know what is needed. Be vulnerable and honest, and ask for what is needed. They may step up…or they may step aside, but at the very least, we have to exercise the courage to live honestly and allow people the opportunity to assist.
Granted, I am not saying that we should be reckless, desire enablement, or hope that people to do the work for us. We must do our share of the work on our own to put ourselves in a position where people understand that we are trying and simply need a little assistance. There are many lifeguards along the beach, but we would be irresponsible to assume that they can save us all. As such, we must be doing the work and put ourselves through the training necessary to swim our oceans efficiently. Jumping into the ocean without first learning the basics of swimming is unwise, as we will undoubtedly need saving and could be putting others at risk by exercising such blatant irresponsibility. The reality is, preparation is paramount to the journey…but life is also unpredictable. As such, we must pay close attention to the times when we need to swim solo…and the times when we need a companion (or, perhaps need a lifeguard to help).
As Dory said, just keep swimming. We must keep swimming and take ownership of our journey, while remembering that we don’t have to go at it alone. Sometimes we need a little help, and that might be the most human part of the entire process. Embrace it.
Siempre,
Savant Lamont 🌹
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