heart take special: brave questioning
A Heart Take exposition ft. Caroline Neil (www.carolineneil.com) and savant lamont.
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We are an eerie dyad of people who, like many others, have minds that don’t quit. I mean, think about it. We each were in school for far longer than most people (more than we are willing to admit…or even count) and yet, we still find ourselves in odd limbos of mental space where nothing makes sense. You know, those head-scratching moments when not only do we not know which way is up, but we have no idea how we feel about anything that is happening. The mind is a beautiful place, but lord can it be an incredibly-abysmal location without so much as a roadmap to make sense of the billions of pathways that are simultaneously running. For example, we thought about the idea of Heart Take for months before it came to fruition and the general idea stems from the bank of questions that we had in our heads but never had the courage to share with the world. Why, you might ask? Well…it’s complicated.
The mind is an incredibly powerful organ that thrives when stimulated. For some of us, getting our neurons to fire and have eclectic conversations is a walk in the park (sometimes, literally). For others, the idea of getting our thoughts and ideas to flow and connect is more difficult than attempting to get a splinter out of your finger with freshly-cut nails. It just doesn’t work and no matter how hard you try, you need something extra to make it happen. Whether it be overthinking or under thinking, each side of the spectrum can be an incredibly stressful space for the mind to do its thing. The ebbs and flows of brain activity are typically congruent with the roller coaster of life itself, especially when we consider that sometimes our brain wants to question…and sometimes it wants to be questioned; a beautiful juxtaposition that can get ugly at the poles.
Interrogation.
Silence.
Curiosity.
In one state of thought, questions come at a rapid fire pace and it can feel as if we are drowning in a sea of our own thoughts…gasping for air and clarity. In another, it seems every word is stuck in cement…or better yet, quicksand. No matter what we do or how much we fight to pull them out, we remain submersed and typically sink deeper when frustration builds. Do not be discouraged by the poles though, dear hearts. In the middle of that spectrum exists a space of fluency and sweet proliferation; the sweet spot of inquisition resembling saccharine honey. Just a taste of this space will do you right…just right. That is one way (but not the only way) that these experiences can be juxtaposed. It can be hard to make sense of this mental space, but we have plenty of space up there to dig, so we can’t shy away. More poignantly, the sweet spot is a space where we become more comfortable with asking the tough questions and receiving the tough answers. It’s not easy to get there, but it’s worth it.
We can find ourselves in spirals asking question after question. What if after what if? Framing and reframing questions to try to find the answer we are looking for. That ideological question (or, answer) that will reinforce a way of thinking, provide peace, or lead to a breakthrough. Millions of questions in our head will push and shove each other like fans at the Chase Center, leaving us wondering “which is the right one to ask?” The pressure we put on an answer is exquisite, but maybe it’s not so much about the answer we think we want -- but the question that starts the adventure.
Now, I am not naive. We have all lived experiences where we have strung together words that were not well-received. We have asked questions that didn’t play out as we had expected. We have sent letters, emails, text messages, DMs and more that did not get the reaction we’d hoped for…or received no reaction at all (yep, being left on read is not fun for any of us). This experience leads to questioning. The kind that makes us guess speaking up at all, sharing what is uniquely coming from our soul. A healthy dose of questioning what went wrong…is good.
To learn from the feedback
How to use the proper there/their/they’re.
How to communicate to someone who is naturally an optimist, pessimist, narcissist, etc.
How to come better prepared for those who poke holes in every question, sentence, statement, argument.
How to handle situations of gaslighting; love bombing.
How to handle the talkative ones…
& the quiet ones.
What I say here is that - these experiences are for growth if you choose to take it that way. And for your sake, I hope you do. I am fighting for myself to do the same. In an identical light, if you are not valued by the listener in the questions you ask, the words you speak, or the questions you do not ask…you are of no obligation to continue with that engagement. That is the beautiful thing about freedom. We can come and we can go. Sometimes it is better to stay. Sometimes it is better to leave. Regardless of where you find yourself, maintain your curiosity. The just-right curiosity.
It flows. It’s a conversation. A balance of effort and ease. Thoughtful…yet playful.
Rather than spinning your wheels, try going for a run and then stopping to get jiggy with it for a moment. Believe me, cuttin a little rug is good for the soul and before you know it, the pressure of perfection is released. Being in that beautiful flow cannot be forced. It cannot be summoned. It happens like a vapor in the wind. When it calls, you answer.
You may not ask the right question, but at least you dared to ask.
Siempre,
Savant & Caro 🌹
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P.S. - the question now becomes, just how much did you enjoy the article and how will you show your support for our dreams? Here are a few ways to support!
1) Follow us on all social media! @savantlamont - @carolinaaneil - @hearttakepodcast
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