jumpman.

I feel alone most of the time, even when I’m heavily surrounded. Not in a negative way, I have just become beautifully comfortable with being alone because I have accepted that no heartbeat can have me like I have me. More times than not, I envision myself underwater...allowing the screens of human oculars to fade to black; the credits of life roll as tears that still exist underwater. The tears roll, but underwater there is no crash; a subtle grace and ambiance that can only be achieved when submersed in pure freedom. Although that may sound like a line, it is quite real if you think deeper. Think back to the hot summer days when you were terrified to jump off of cliffs (or rope swings) into the calm waters at the swimming hole. A portion of the reluctance was possibly because you had never formally been taught how to swim (I still haven’t), but most of the fear probably came from the unknown that existed beneath the surface.

Personally, I lived in this fear for years…standing near the edge but refusing to jump. One day, I built up the courage and without thinking…I jumped. I can remember feeling weightless and throwing my arms straight out as if I had wings. Wind raced passed my ears as the rest of the world disappeared from cognition. Splash. My heart is pounding by this point (because I can’t see or swim), but just as I feel the thousands of tiny bubbles rush against my face…I relax and open my eyes to a murky, beautiful darkness. No sound. No movement. No fear. In those few moments, I started to enjoy the solace. I felt like I was underwater for ages; comfortable and safe. I began to hear the sound of numerous people jump in the water (as if to come to the rescue) so I decided it was time to return to the rest of the world. I surfaced (somehow) and looked around while doggypaddling in place only to see that people were not jumping to my rescue, I was simply hearing a few children jumping off of the pontoon into the water nearby. Needless to say, I got addicted to jumping off of cliffs and rope swings because of those minor moments post-splash when I could just be. I visualize that setting quite often and have since recreated it in spaces other than water, so part of me will never resurface.

I honed this space and allowed myself to become familiar with solace and the uncomfortability of the unknown. I would encourage you to do the same if you desire to truly grow and reach the pinnacle of your existence. Because most of us do not live on a lake, you must find ways to mentally tap into the underwater calm without submersion in water. Think of the story I just shared as symbolism for life itself. Think of the times (past or present) that you have stood at the edge of opportunity, waiting in fear. The unknown is the water below, and the war inside of you pushes your anxiety to the point that you are frozen in place…unsure of what to do. Do you jump? Do you back up and go home? How cold is the water? What if there are animals below? Blah blah blah…the list goes on. Your mind will always find reasons as to why you should not jump; reasons that support stagnant behaviors. Always.

Newton’s First Law of Motion states that every object will remain at rest or in uniform motion in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force (according to NASA). You are that object. You will remain exactly where you are, doing exactly what you are doing, exactly how you are doing it, until something changes. I will let you in on a little secret: the force necessary to change those complacent behaviors…has been inside of you your entire life! The fight-or-flight response created by the sympathetic nervous system prepares your body for something…but you are responsible for choosing what that thing is! It is up to you to choose to do things different, because if you don’t…you have no one but yourself to blame for the 'routine’ manner in which you live. It is up to you to decide when enough is enough; when fear no longer leads and confidence makes you prolific.

The product of the very point I am making here today is the reason that you are reading the words on this page. My dear friend Caroline Neil (check her out, she’s truly an angel among humans) motivated me to live with no fear and share my most vulnerable thoughts with you. If it wasn’t for her motivating me to jump off of that cliff, you would not be here…and neither would I. If it wasn’t for the motivation of numerous ‘forces’ in my life, I never would’ve left Royal Lakes. I never would’ve did a backflip off of the stage at my high school graduation. I never would’ve graduated from Western Illinois University (twice). I never would’ve gone to Florida State University, become a Ph.D. Candidate, published numerous scholarly articles, mentored thousands of athletes, and taught dozens of undergraduate classes. I never would’ve traveled the world, climbed the Swiss Alps, had wine in the Eiffel Tower, seen London from the London Eye, drank beer in the Blue Lagoon, stood next to the Mona Lisa, and paraded down the streets of Amsterdam with my people during the Keti Koti Festival in celebration of Emancipation Day for my Surinamese brothers and sisters. That is the short list, and I do not include that list to flex. I included that list to show you what is to be accomplished when you take the leap and jump off of that cliff.

Before I close, I do want to acknowledge that jumping off of the cliff is not for everyone. I know (and love) plenty of people who enjoy the Ron Swanson style of life that doesn’t change much. If that is you, do your thing if that is what makes you happy! To those of you who are not happy with the current state of your life, think about the things that are holding you back…and face them. Think, then act. I’m not saying that you should just recklessly jump at every opportunity that comes at you because as they say, just because you can doesn’t always mean you should. Think about the ways in which you can conquer your fears and take calculated leaps. I know it is scary and tears may accompany the journey, but let them flow! Even if you don’t know what awaits you in the unknown, become comfortable with being uncomfortable and embrace the growth that comes with it. Have faith that things will work out as they are supposed to, because they will. As the Prophet Dr. King stated, “faith is taking the first step when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Take that step…and jump. Trust me, the water is nice over here.

the most beautiful sight atop the Swiss Alps with the OG Tommy!

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thank you for spending a few moments with me. i do value your time and thoughts, so please do not hesitate to send me a message @savantlamont and let me know what you think. i would love to hear from you!

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savant shelf selection: the subtle art of not giving a f*** by mark manson

savant song selection: jumpman // aubrey graham & nayvadius demun wilburn

…still i rise. (part 1)

trust issues.