…still i rise. (part 1)

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear.

I rise.

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear.

I rise.

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise.

I rise.

- Dr. Maya Angelou

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I’m sure you have heard this quote a time or two in your life, but it’s a timeless testament to the relentless attitude that it takes for you to overcome trials and tribulations. I mean, you heard the woman…and you must always rise. Always. It is important that you leave your fears behind and rise, because life isn’t always pretty. As I am writing this, I will tell you a bit about the roller coaster that I have been on in the past months time.

I celebrated my 28th birthday in the biggest fashion to date; if you caught my instagram post…that was just the first quarter. It was a fantastic weekend full of love and unwavering joy, and I love my team for showing out and making it a magnificent time to be alive. The following Monday, news broke that one of our fellow activist Oluwatoyin Salau had been killed; her body found Saturday night by police investigators after she posted tweets on June 6 about being sexually assaulted. She went missing shortly after and was found the night following my birthday. Although I did not know her on a personal level, it was tough to lose a fellow sister-in-arms that I had legitimately just marched the streets with during #BlackLivesMatter protests for George Floyd and Breonna Taylor’s murders. I remember attending Toyin’s vigil at the capitol and mourning with hundreds of others who came to show love and support, followed by a deep sorrow that confined me to my bedroom for the remainder of the evening. As I rose the next morning, I looked to the ceiling for hours and thought about how I had the privilege of opening my eyes and breathing this morning, while she does not. I thought to myself, I must do more; I must work harder. I was sad, but as I sat up and looked out the window, my pupils narrowed as creases formed in my brow. Enough is enough.

- Ring. Ring. Ring. -

My phone awoke on the nightstand. My sister was calling, so I smiled at her perfect timing…but little did I know, this would not be a pleasant call. She immediately merged the call with one she was having with my mother and shared the news that my good friend Kristopher Huddleston had passed away in my city of St. Louis, Missouri. My phone crashed to the floor (thankfully only spider-cracking the screen protector) as my smile faded. I lost all sense of feeling; a desolate numbness washed over my entire body. Kris was my guy! We shared numerous moments together, especially on the gridiron. I have very vivid memories of his highlights, including truck-sticking Terry Petty once in practice (ask anyone who was there; true story). Kris was a kind, exuberant soul who would always make you laugh and check up on you to make sure things were okay. I had just spoken to him on the phone in the very same spot that I was standing at that time about 2 weeks prior. We discussed him coming to visit me in Florida, going to the beach, and simply just kickin it like usual. I had no idea it would be the last time I would hear his voice. Once the call concluded, I immediately packed my bags and headed back to the Lou (12 hour trek, btw).

As I celebrated another year of life, two of my own were taking their last breath. I don’t mean to get you down, I simply want you to understand how tough things can be sometimes. Life is extremely fragile and time waits for no one, so you must fight; you must live. I know that life is difficult sometimes and it will beat you down until you believe that you have nothing left…but you must continue to fight while learning from the thunderstorms. Life really isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and sometimes it will rain for days on end with no sunshine in sight. Stay the course. Allow yourself to embrace the ups and the downs. Be a kid again and splash around in the puddles. Try to smile through the pain. Celebrate the lives of those who have gone on to a better place and find joy in the privilege of knowing them while they were here. They would want you to be happy and to continue fighting the good fight. I imagine, that’s what we all want for those we inevitably leave behind when our journey has reached its conclusion.

***

Keep rising, especially for the fallen. I rise for my people; for Kristopher Huddleston; for Oluwatoyin Salau; for David Vaughn, for Kevin Reiff; for Antonio Little; for Travis Raggs; for Derrance Taylor; for so many more who have lived! I love them all so very much. I live for them every single day that my heart beats, and I am certain that you have people who fit this description for you as well. Sit for a second, say their names, and tell them how much you love them. They lived like hell and fought until the very end, so we must carry the torch in their honor. The subject of rest and fight reminds me of a quote from my favorite sports broadcaster, the late GREAT Stuart Scott:

So, live. Live. Fight like hell. And when you get too tired to fight then lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you. That's also very, very important. I can't do this "don't give up" thing all by myself.

-Stuart Scott

While mourning, I was down and out; unable to fight. Thankfully I have a collection of people around me who have filled my heart with love, strength and appreciation. My family. My friends. My supporters. This is for you. I love you dearly and I thank you. I thank you all for reaching out and wishing me a Happy Birthday! I thank you all for reaching out during my troubling times of grief and mourning. I thank my personal team for putting up with my waves of emotion and sorrow. You all protected me when I was in no state to protect myself. I thank my writing community for encouraging me to step away and take some time to heal. I thank you all for pouring into me and giving me the strength to continue. I thank you, so very much. I would not be standing today without your love running through my veins. If I could offer an action component here, take some time and think about the people that really matter to you. Once you finish reading this, please send them a message with a simple ‘I love you.’ Tell them you are proud of them. Tell them exactly how much you appreciate them. It is important that you continually let your people know how much they mean to you. Spread love, relentlessly.

Listen, even boxers get breaks when they are allowed to confer with their team and strategize in-between rounds. Treat this life the same way. Sit down in your corner, rest for a while, listen to your team, and then rise and get back to work. You have people in your corner who love you; who are there to guide you and protect you when you may not be seeing clearly. Embrace them (and reciprocate, of course). I can’t promise you that you won’t get knocked down, as life is a larger opponent than Mike Tyson in his prime. I can tell you, sometimes, you will take an L and lose the battle…just don’t give up. Getting knocked down isn’t pleasant, but remember that you have a ten count to get back up. Use it, regain focus, and rise.

Today is Kris’ birthday (July 11), so please leave a comment and wish him a Happy Birthday!

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thank you for spending a few moments with me. i do value your time and thoughts, so please do not hesitate to send me a message @savantlamont and let me know what you think. i would love to hear from you!

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savant shelf selection: and still i rise by dr. maya angelou & every day i fight: making a difference, kicking cancer's ass by stuart scott

savant song selection: racks in the middle // nipsey hussle ft. roddy rich

…still i rise (part ii)

jumpman.